jennifer
hey
Mon Dec 2 14:59:18 2002
sabrina,
first of all, i didn't ask the nurse what my baby's sex was either. it was too early to tell just by looking. but in my heart i felt it was a boy. so i went with it. instead of being cold and detached and calling my baby "it", i decided that he needed a name and i called him samuel. now i have my own reasons for naming him this, but i'm comforted that when i think of him, he is my sweet samuel.
second, i also couldn't tell my family. i told only a few close friends. and i actually only talk about it with my current boyfriend, who loves and supports me to no end.
sabrina, it's ok to feel the way you do. you DID lose a part of yourself that day. and you are allowed to be unhappy because of it. however, the fact that you still have your whole life ahead of you means that you can do something! you can do whatever you want!
make sure you do!
feeling relieved is normal. it's ok, and if that's how you feel, go with it.
also, the guilt is normal. just remember, you had your reasons for doing what you did. you are an intelligent woman, even at age 16. if you want, wayne posted a message to me, and on it were some links that were pretty helpful.
check them out.
anyway, good luck with everything, and if you need to talk, i'm here.
always,
jennifer
